I remember a time when I lived for the present, not thinking too much about the past (it was too painful), or the future (it would take care of itself surely). Things are different now. Yesterday, I did some reviewing of my year. Now I want to consider the present. Today, I have a tendency to live in the past and dream of a future I could have had, should have had, can’t now have. My tendency is to put up with the present because that’s the future my past choices made for me and my new future depends on me staying on safe ground today.
I’ve had a couple of significant deaths I had to deal with in my life, one before I was a teenager and another before I was thirty. Finally, many years, on I can laugh when they would have and think of the fun times we had together, remember the love they showed and be glad in my heart they are always with me. My present is dominated by thoughts of family, friendships and writing, today, here and now, and also this month and next, the season we are in. Depending on your beliefs and where you are in the world the season will always be different.
For my present, I think of the family and friends I have heard from, spoken to and spent time with this December. Whilst there are things about my present I would like to be different I would not change my family and friends, I feel blessed to get to spend time with and be loved by you all. You are my life and my world, sitting here writing this in my present, I am filled with much love for you.
If you celebrated Christmas I hope you were able to give and receive. I’ve been very fortunate to have time with those I love and to be able to give gifts I hope they can use or like. Those I received were a wonderful selection of things that will remind me of the people who chose them. Some practical and some not, some edible and many smelly (the gifts, not the people. Lovely smells.. shall I stop digging now? Tee hee;).
Mustn’t forget the writing.. My life, currently, is dominated by my writing. Writing and editing. Editing and writing. I need to work out how to fit editing into my life more in 2013 than in 2012 if I’m going to finish one of these drafts sometime soon. Oops.. that’s starting to think of the future.
What am I doing today? Not sure yet. Some baking (no idea why, but I have an urge to bake a black forest Gateaux, as you do..), reading, and I will do more reviewing of 2012 and planning for 2013.
This post has been slightly more reflective than focusing on the present. What makes up your present and is there anything you would change?
ps I need to change how I take pictures.. apologies for the darkness..