I’ve been told I have a lot of empathy for others. This drives me mad, so much so that I can get rather emotional about it… I get fed up of having empathy, of noticing others feelings and, often, of feeling their emotions too. Whilst this has some good qualities and it’s really helpful for my writing, it can cause me some issues in my personal life. I’ve withdrawn a bit from life over recent years because I was becoming drained by others too much and not being myself enough. I have a full on work life and didn’t need that to take over my home life too.
I’m writing this from the heart.. oops maybe I shouldn’t be that open. Let me move onto my other word, energised. It’s a bit tough since I’m not very energised while writing this (you’ll get an explanation at h).
When energised, my characters will probably be rushing around tiring everyone else. Getting lots of things done. Having wonderful ideas, making great things happen and everyone will get swept along with the action and positive energy surrounding them. See even writing this my fingers moved quickly across the keyboard while the words flowed effortlessly. What’s engaging is that many words beginning with e started emerging.
Show don’t tell.
He was emotionally empathically and energised.
Briskly walking to the fridge to get his morning orange juice he noticed the envelope on the table. Slowing his walk he said softly ‘Let’s go out for dinner tonight’.
Phew.. I think that’s enough of that. I hope you have enough energy to keep going through this challenge and are enjoying reading everyone’s work. We’ll be energising each other as we pass by leaving comments and replying to those who comment on ours. The connectivity of this challenge is amazing.
Lynne’s AtoZ blogging challenge theme in case you couldn’t tell:
Linked to thoughts of emotions and behaviours, my theme is ‘I feel….’. Writers among you will be familiar with the phrase show don’t tell, for others it’s what every novelist tries to do. Authors want to show you the emotion and behaviour without telling you it. Trying to practice showing not telling, I have included an example in each post. I may have got it right, I may not have. Please let me know.
Here’s who else is doing the AtoZblogging challenge.
Keep being empathic… It may be exhausting but better than being a psychopath!
True! Great to see you here. Thanks for the comment, I know you’ll never let me forget and that’s good. Hope you enjoy my AtoZ’s this year. xx
My energy for the challenge is still going strong. Hoping I can keep it up. If I start to wane, I might set goals on blogs I want to visit to keep me motivated.
Patricia Lynne, YA Author
Good idea. If I wane, my goal is to at least return to all those who’ve commented on mine. You’re all fantastic bloggers and I’m touched I’ve had such great comments. I think my energy will be ok so long as I get my weekly posts scheduled by each Monday. Need to check how many of next weeks need work.
I too have been trying to work on showing instead of telling – it’s a bit tricky to get the hang of! I’m feeling a bit energized now after your post but with 21 more letters in the challenge I’m sure that will disappear soon 🙂 Great post, very entertaining!
Glad I’m not the only one to find it tricky. I think we might be over thinking it too much. When writing tutors explain it to me it seems very obvious then I read my work and am convinced I tell everything!
Good news I’m energising others! Very pleased to be entertaining too, you never know do you, we just do our best and others have to tell us what they think or else, I guess, pass by unnoticed. Don’t worry, you’ll get to the end, we all will!
I wish I was more energized but this post is wearing me out trying to make sure I visit all the blogs before the end of the challenge.
Oops! Sorry Glenda, didn’t mean to wear anyone out. If you’re here for h you’ll realise why I wrote it like that.
Really? You’re going to visit all 2248 of us.. I’m number 18, if you’re doing it sequentially that’s a lot of blogs you’ve got to visit.. 106.19 per remaining alphabet day or 89 per day remaining in April if you don’t do any more today. Hey, visit more today to get ahead.. Good luck.. We’re all behind you!
Empathy is, indeed, a good character trait, but one has to be careful of being sucked in by emotionally draining people. Helping and caring, yes. But with limits. Sounds like you’ve come to recognize that.
First week of A to Z has been a blitz-blog – definitely worth my time. I do think we feed energy to/from each other, and I hope all of us can help fellow bloggers through the inevitable slumps. It’s only …. How many more days? Enjoy your weekend!
My weekend’s catching up on reading others and working out how much each future week’s going to need. I might manage a bit of gardening too. Yes it’s great when we can all energise each other and steer clear of the energy sinks. There’s enough people not blogging who can care for them this month.
Also, I ordered Betty Edwards’ drawing book today. Thanks for the recommendation. That will revive my energy next week when it comes in the mail!
Fantastic news. I’ve not seen the latest edition. My advice for what it’s worth is if the exercises are still scattered throughout the book, find them, mark them, prep for what you need for them.. A cabbage might be needed for example.. then do them religiously in order over a dedicated few days. I think she teaches them over a week or so but I don’t recall. Follow what she says and I look forward to hearing about the magic.. I wish we could be doing it together as I love seeing peoples reaction. I might have to refresh my skills and do the exercises again myself.
Very exciting. Let me know how you get on. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.
Three engaging words you have there!!
Saw what you did there! Thanks!
great that you are giving egs of show don’t tell. I aim to write one or 2 stories a month to take to a writing group and just know I will improve on ‘show don’t tell now.’
” their faces lit up as they heard the Effervescence in her stories”
Thanks! Glad others are enjoying them, I’ve been enjoying writing and sketching them. Better get on with next weeks now.
I love your drawings. Are they water colour and ink? Empathy can be exhausting. I find I need a little down time each day without people so I can recharge. I usually like to draw during this time 🙂
Thanks. Yes, they’re sketched in pencil, painted in watercolour then finished with ink. Love drawing.
oops.. I said they all needed an extra edit.. should be ‘he was emotionally empathic and energised’ or ‘he was emotionally empathically energised’.. Nah.. the first one..
Time and life experience has taught me that I can care but I don’t need to invest my energy in rescuing others – unless it is an emergency. I do care. Care about every living creature on this planet, sometimes more about the non-homosapiens. I used to try fixing everyone and everything until I read a book that shed light on the negative impact of my interference. Me, doing the ‘fixing’ took away the other’s self esteem and told them they were incompetent. Everyone has what it takes to fix their own problems. My role is to listen and encourage. Period. And, yes, regarding the ‘show, don’t tell, that is the more important tool in a writer’s create kit – and that reminder can never be over stressed. Thanks, Lynne.
Feather Stone of “Romance Under Fire”
You’re right that we are all able and need to fix ourselves and sometimes need others to help shoulder some of our angst while we do that. Glad you’ve learnt to listen and encourage rather than ‘fix’.
Thanks for stopping by.
Being able walk in someone else’s shoes certainly has it’s drawbacks … It can make me feel guilty because I imagine everyone else’s problems are bigger and more important than my own so I shouldn’t complain. I should just pull my socks up and get on with it. Deep down, I know that’s not true though … Just gotta keep telling myself. x
Guilt’s not good. Take care x
I so agree with everything you just said, the older i get people become draining and a pia. thanks for the great post.
Hi, I absolutely identify with feeling drain from feeling too much… It is important to compartmentalize and discern what belongs to you and what does not! Great post, so important to show vs Tell stopping by #atozchallenge. I went with D for Daring to Dream and E for Egret my fave Birds … swing by if you get a chance http://4covert2overt.blogspot.com/
I swung by. great work. Thanks for popping by and here’s to the rest of our AtoZ’s.
Yes, I think you nailed the example of show don’t tell. I too have a problem with getting overly involved with feeling other people’s problems. I have to remind myself quite often – “that’s ops – other’ people’s stuff.” It’s not that I don’t want to be empathetic and compassionate about others, in fact I think it’s important. I just don’t want it to take over my life. Great post!
The Road We’ve Shared A to Z
Really? Thanks! I don’t want other peoples ‘stuff’ to take over my life either and nor do I want my ‘stuff’ to take over someone else’s life.
I hope you can remain energised even when feeling empathy for others. There has to be a balance and it can be so hard to find.
Tasha’s Thinkings – AtoZ (Vampires)
FB3X – AtoZ (Erotic Drabbles)
Looking for that balance. Gaining energy from all the great comments on my AtoZ’s.
Finally managed to plough through my emails and blog comments Lynne. Glad I got here, and now I’ll click the follow button. I apologise for not commenting throughout, but I have read all of them. You’re doing a great job.
Me too. Thanks for visiting. You’re not doing too bad a job yourself.
I like how your mind works on your choice of words, but the posts don’t sound contrived.
That’s good. I’m not sure I could contrive a post if I wanted to. I’m rather too open at times if you ask me.
I’m not sure I know how my mind works on my choice of words. One day feel free to explain it. For now I know I need to find quite (I might use that for q or quiet, quitter..) a few words for all the letter’s I’ve not yet drafted over the coming weeks. That’s my weekend sorted then.
Empathy is a wonderful thing, and I really could have used some of that energy today! 🙂
Random Musings from the KristenHead — E is for ‘Elementary’ (and Elephants)
We need to be a bit precious of our energy and do things we know energise us more often.